Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
