So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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