i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
