Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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