chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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