it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize