also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
