that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
