You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
