laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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