I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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