This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
