Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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