It's Friday. Sex?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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