I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face