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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  im getting coffee to go get coffee.

  (435): View more from Utah

  Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.

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• (714): View more from California

  The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?

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• (585): View more from New York

  we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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• (818): View more from California

  more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  see that vagina ? that vagina means business

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death

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