You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.