I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.