Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
