Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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(707): View more from California

i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

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(214): View more from Texas

hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?

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(516): View more from New York

My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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(562): View more from California

My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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(949): View more from California

That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it

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(585): View more from New York

well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.

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