Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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