I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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