with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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