Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize