My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
