So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
