We're like a lot better than the average bears
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
