i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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