your thong is hanging out like whoa
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
