She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
