i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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