Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
