he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
