I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize