im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize