I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
