Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.