Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's shark week go big or go home
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize