i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All the doctor said was why
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
