seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
