i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
