I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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