We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
