She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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