where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
