Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
