RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
