when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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