so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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