butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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