I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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