I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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