theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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