I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
