Got a toothbrush?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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