i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
