i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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