so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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