I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
