can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize