I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
