Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and she was petting her beer can
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
