after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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