I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
