dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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